2010: Where Have You Gone?

Wow, it's hard to believe that 2010 is over. It feels like just yesterday that i had such high hopes for 2010, more notably, the summer of 2010, which has since passed on. Surely has been a roller coaster of a year and continues to be even with one day left, i don't even know how to put into words what this year consisted of, i can just mention a few notable things: got out of a miserable relationship, recorded the first Suburban Losers full length record at the awesome Akdar Studios, met a SHIT LOAD of awesome people, and became really close with a few of them (you know who you are), got back together with some old friends to which we became an unbeatable 5 person Nexus, followed by some awesome times and new memories to look back on in addition to the billions of memories we already had, found a whole new person in myself after the breakup, and finally gained some self confidence, band activity increasing and getting better as a band overall. As well as many many other crazy adventures, i am not mentioning the notable bad things because well, honestly there was more bad than good this year, considering the high expectations we all had for it, "Year of The Loser" is what we called it hahaha, and it was, sort of, i guess. I don't want to go into 2011 with too much high hopes, in case they also get destroyed, i am going into 2011 with a positive attitude though, and hoping to accomplish my resolutions for this year, which are as follows: release Suburban Losers - Never Going Home, get skinny, tell the girl i REALLY like how i feel (maybe, depending on the situation), get over my fear of driving, get my license, and finally go on tour. If i can end 2011 with those things accomplished, i will feel like a JEDI MASTER. So, yeah, as we all say goodbye to a year filled with happiness, sadness, fun times, bad times, and a whole lot of learning, we say hello to a new year with new possibilities headed our way. Let's hope it's a good one.

Goodbye 2010, Hello 2011.

I leave you, as a New Year's tradtion for me, with this song:



This time, it's the Sundowner version instead of The Lawrence Arms version, considering Chris (from TLA), released this in 2010 under his side project, Sundowner :)

as always, Stay True.

xLOSERx

10 Steps For Failure.

I am going to present to you, 10 helpful steps in preparing yourself to do something that you know you're going to fail at, but still know it has to be done in order for life to move on, and in the end, still come out on top, even though you failed. AWWWWWW HERE IT GOES:

1. listen to your own band, if you have one, in order to remind yourself that after you fail, you still have talent.

2. be sure to consult every single one of your initial group of friends before failing, so they can help you make jokes about how funny it's going to be when you once again fail miserably, because everyone expected it.

3. eat, a lot.

4. watch the video for Marky Mark's "Good Vibrations" to remind yourself that no matter how hard you try, you'll never be as cool as Marky Mark, in order to further prevent yourself from gaining confidence to do something that you'll know you're gonna fail at.

5. if you play an instrument, play it, to remind yourself that you have talent (see number 1)

6. go forth with the thing you're going to fail at, only to fail, because it was bound to happen.

7. sulk for a bit, tell yourself never to try again, even though you know you will.

8. hang out with your best friends, joke about how much you failed, and then make fun of people to make yourself feel better.

9. sleep it off, if you can.

10. wake up, ready to start again, and for the hell of it, watch "Good Vibrations" again, cause, well, FUCKING LOOK AT IT:

Songwriting, Brendan Kelly, and an Awesome Girl.

I am pleased to have read that the way i write my song lyrics is almost identical to the way Brendan Kelly of The Lawrence Arms/Falcon/Slapstick writes his. See http://badsandwichchronicles.blogspot.com/2010/12/more-self-important-bullshit.html This is pretty awesome for me, because Brendan Kelly is one of my musical idols. Probably the only one out of all of my musical idols that I want to write and play just like, or at least mimic in my writing to the point of writing as awesome as he does, incorporating metaphors and smart ass remarks in my songs, while still sounding sincere. The only thing that's not the same is the 4 track recording device, i wish i had one, so i could remember my songs better. If you've never heard The Lawrence Arms, fucking look them up, NOW. That band includes two of my musical idols.

Anywho. I would like to know why it's so freezing today, I would also like to know why, no matter how hard I try, I can't stop thinking about a certain girl. I guess it's because she's not evil, like most girls. This one is different.

Stay True.

xLOSERx

Is Anyone Reading This?

I wish I had the time, well, i do have the time, but i wish i wasn't so lazy, because I'd love to write in this at least everyday for you all to get an in depth analysis of what i think about daily. I guess I'd just much rather connect with a person than a dead world of cyberspace called the Internet. I don't know, i guess today i feel like boring you all, or whoever does/doesn't take the time to read this. Today sucks, it's so boring and rainy, i spent the majority of the day cleaning my room, although, i wanted to spend the majority of the day sleeping, but that doesn't happen anymore. My "inner clock" wants me to wake up at 10 all the time, and it pisses me off, cause even if i fall asleep at 4 or 5 AM, the inner clock is like "AW HELL NO, YOU WAKE UP NOW!" when I'm like "but i wanna sleeeeeeeeeeeep" and then we argue all morning until finally it makes me have to pee really fucking bad and have a weird coughing spell, and then I'm up. Whoop. Fuck, i just want this day to be over so next week can begin, hell, i want this month to be over, i hate Christmas, i hate this time of year, it's cold, it's depressing, and everything about it, the smells in the air, the coldness, and just the overall feeling of it brings back bad memories/thoughts that are usually stuffed in the back of my mind. Not that they effect mine or anyone else's well being, or the way i live, they just like to keep me up at night and make my time spent alone less enjoyable. Aw who am i kidding, anytime i spend alone is a nightmare. Pft. That's what music is for, to make it easy.

In other non whiny news, the weight loss is going well. I'm at 280 pounds, which is a big step considering 2 months ago i weighed 297 pounds. It sucks that it's not showing yet, nor do i feel any better physically yet, but emotionally, i definitely feel better about myself that it's working, i just have to keep going, i guess, and not let any possible rejections/depressing news that may come my way stop me from achieving this goal. Speaking of goals, record progress is going well, also. We have hit the $200(something) mark in our band fund, and I've been saving up change. Plus an hour increase at work has helped much in the progress. Once we get it mastered, then it's time to talk about pressing and label signage. Then my life will rule much more than it already does. *victorious stance*.

For now i bid you farewell, for i am going to go continue being bored and trying to settle my thoughts. *bow*

Stay True.

xLOSERx

Ashley.

This might be the weirdest blog I've ever written, but whatever.

Recently, i uncovered a suppressed memory from the back of my mind, and i would like to share it with you all. When i was in 5th grade, i had made up a girlfriend for myself, her name was Ashley. I had the back story on how we met and everything. First off, the back story was that, i had been riding my bike at the playground, and i fell. She came over to see if i was okay, and we sat on the swings and talked for awhile, until eventually i asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. She has beautiful long blue hair (yes, 10 year old me made her have blue hair), and a beautiful face. That's all i can remember about her appearance. I can't believe me at 10 years old made all this up in detail, it just goes to show, that i was always a hopeless romantic and i was so desperate for a girlfriend that i had made up someone because i thought i would never get one. Can you believe that shit? I would never just make someone up nowadays, it's like, either there's someone there, or there isn't. Oh, how i miss my childhood imagination. I think i made up another girl after i had said that me and Ashley "broke up", i don't remember any detail about that though, except she had black hair that time. I was a strange child, and i grew up into a strange adult. Ew, adult. So if there are any beautiful Ashleys out there with blue hair, gimme a call, cause i made you up in 5th grade. hahaha.

Stay True.

xLOSERx

When Will I Learn?

I hate it. i hate this feeling, i hate everything that surrounds it, everything that it feeds off of, i hate the way it takes over my brain and squeezes the life out of it like no tomorrow. I haven't vented in days, it's about time i do. I often think, everything i said in past blogs about love, is true, i often think i have it all figured out, that I'm right, everyone else is wrong. Then someone comes along and wakes me up, unknowingly saying that "you're wrong, love is real, love is amazing, love exists in every one's hearts, and someday, I'll make you feel the kind of love you're looking for". Then, inevitably, all that hope, all that happiness and everything that came with it, gets destroyed, taken away, for what? i don't know, people tell me i deserve someone special, people tell me that any girl is lucky to have me, people tell me that someday, I'll find what I'm looking for. Someone needs to tell me why when i think i found what I'm looking for, what I'm looking for doesn't want me. I'm sick of people telling me how great i am and how much a nice girl deserves me, i want the truth, i want to know my flaws, i want to know what I'm doing wrong. Because when a girl sits there and tells me how amazing i am, and then doesn't date me, there HAS TO be something I'm doing wrong. Nice guys finish last, they say, hell, i never truly believed that until now, but it's true. We do, we get friend zoned, shit on, fucked with, teased, led on, everything you could possibly imagine. We get taken advantage of cause we're so nice. I don't HAVE to be so nice, it's just in my nature, that's the kind of person i am, it's natural for me to be nice, i don't have it in me to treat a woman like crap, or anyone for that matter, and i never will. I know just what the problem is, i always knew it from the time i started trying to date girls, until now: it's my looks, always have been, it's about time i do something to change that, cause if I'm as great as all these girls say i am, just imagine the relationship success I'll have if I'm not only the super nice guy, but the super hot guy. That's what girls want? well that's what they'll get. By early next year, i PROMISE you, i will be a more advanced version of myself. If that doesn't work, then I'm throwing in the towel and will accept that i am destined to be alone for the rest of my life, and that will be the end of it. Until then though, you better believe I'm going for this with full force.

Stay True.

xLOSERx

Serious Thoughts.

I won't mentioned what happened, cause i don't know who reads this exactly or who's GOING to read this, but if anyone who experienced what happened last Saturday with me, you know what I'm talking about. Point here is, i honestly don't see it as a huge deal, everyone involved is okay, alive, and moving on. Come to think of it, it wasn't really traumatic at all, just fucking scary. It did however, get me to thinking, what if i had died? Like, i think, what if THEY had died too, that would be just as bad..but on a personal level, what if my life ended last week and i wasn't here typing this? Would i have been happy with my life? Would i have done everything that i wanted to do? The answer is simply, no. I have not completed everything that i wanted to do in my life yet, so this just gets me thinking about how fucking quickly everything can end, in an instant. The human body is complicated, growing up is complicated, hell, LIVING is sometimes complicated, but how to end everything, it's not complicated at all. It's simple, one time deal, think of it this way, okay, i am NOT suicidal right now, despite my past encounters with suicide, right now, i am probably the least suicidal than I've ever been. Just think though, how easy it is for it to all end, i could easily go buy a gun, hold it to the back of my skull, right behind my ear, pull the trigger and BOOM, I'm done, no more Rich. Or, just out of nowhere, i have an aneurysm, why? i don't fucking know, but it happens, my brain pops and I'm done. People wonder why I'm rarely serious, people wonder why i make jokes out of almost ANYTHING, even if I'm feeling real sympathy towards it or if I'm upset about it. Simply because, life is too damn short, too damn fragile, and too damn scary to be upset all the time. To me, life is a joke, i mean come on, it comes at you with this huge fucking attitude and acts like a tough guy, and you can so easily kick it in the balls and you win. It comes back though, and tears you down, over and over again, but you just have to keep up with it, crack some jokes, laugh at nothing, you know? You could be dead tomorrow, why not have fun today? I have more goals for my 20's than I've ever had before, and i plan to achieve them, if i can't, escaping is easy, but before i resort to that for a final time, i will brave life with all I've got, punch it in the throat, and try as hard as i fucking can to do EVERYTHING that i want to do in my life. Near death experiences always get you thinking, hell, i have a goal to be skinny by the time I'm 23, or at least fit. I have a goal to be semi successful in music by my mid 20's. I have a goal to find a girl that i want to be with for the rest of my life, who treats me right, doesn't care about my social status or schooling, respects my goals, and stay with her. My goals, collectively, are to reach where i want to be in life by the time I'm 25, and i WILL do it, and i WILL have fun as much as i possibly can on my journey towards true happiness. I suggest that whoever does read this, follow my advice, ignore the little things that upset you and just LIVE, i mean, there will be big obstacles to get through, for sure, big UPSETTING obstacles, but you have to believe in yourself and pull through them, cause in the end, the only person that can make you truly happy, is yourself.

Stay True.

xLOSERx

Changes.

Okay, so it seems that the track listing for What We Worked For's first album/demo/ep/whateverthefuck, might be abit different from what i posted before. I'm not doing Halloween anymore, i want to keep it all original. Also, I'm adding Cadaver, which is a Suburban Losers song about falling in love with a dead girl...yeah that's right. I may write one or two more originals and add an outro, depending on where my creativity goes. I do have one new original since i posted that track listing, which came out of nowhere, just fucking around on the guitar and i came up with a riff and set it up with some of my old lyrics and BOOM, a song. Bobby (friend of mine/drummer for Alive In The Moment/fellow band mate in Johnny Power) has offered to record it for free. Considering my computer for whatever reason won't read the mic i hooked up to it, this is very convenient and helpful.

In other news, i met a girl, nothing can happen as far as dating goes between us, go figure. I need to remind myself to never gain feelings for a girl, because i should KNOW by now that there's always SOMETHING that could prevent us from dating. So, fuck it. I miss the me from a month ago that didn't give a shit about love anymore. Why do i care again? pft, i don't know (see last blog post, maybe that will answer it? curse my brain for thinking)

I'm going to go practice my songs, i seem to be getting smoother with playing, which is good.

Stay True.

xLOSERx

Untitled.

sighs and cries...i don't know what to do right now...

Am i permanently damaged? why can't i fall asleep tonight? For weeks I've been feeling good, sleeping well, waking up normally, and now, all these terrible thoughts come rushing back out of nowhere, and i just lay there in silence, with my heart beating a mile a minute, and it doesn't slow down until i have sat up and turned the light on, back on here, with music playing, wishing i was asleep. FUCK, where did this come from? I just keep thinking about shit to myself, like, i tell myself i don't believe in love anymore, but am i just scared? Am i afraid of getting hurt over and over again? Am i afraid of getting stuck in another dead end relationship like the last one where I'm always miserable, where she treats me like dirt, where i constantly want to commit suicide because she makes me feel so goddamn low and I'm too much of a pussy to break it off? Maybe, or maybe love really doesn't exist? I see examples proving that statement right more often than i see them proving that statement wrong. Then again, maybe some people CAN find love, and others, like me, simply cannot, and will not, because they're destined for other things. Who fucking knows, I don't, that's for sure. I'm just afraid now, will my doubts and feeling that there's always somebody better than me out there ruin any chances i have of starting a new relationship? It's quite possible. Will i ever get over my fear? Do i have any love left to give? Or have i drained it all out to people that end up hurting me? I just want to look my last "fling" in the eye and say FUCK YOU, because in a way, it's her fault, she was the last one who hurt me, and she was the last one that lied and made me feel like I'm not good enough. Really though, i can't blame JUST her, i have to blame ALL of them. What's the point though? They don't give a shit, they don't know how they made me feel, and if i told them, they wouldn't care, cause if they did, they wouldn't have hurt me in the first place. I don't know, whatever, who cares.

Hopefully this busy band weekend will get my mind off of this shit, I've said it once and I'll say it again, music won't hurt me.

Stay True.

xLOSERx

Mmmmm..Productivity.

Okay, so, it looks like What We Worked For's first EP is already done, song wise (yes, i've dropped the 've, it rolls off the tounge better). I will reveal the track listing right here, right now. This may be subject to change, but i'm not sure yet, cause i may end up not putting the Misfits cover on if i can write another good original song, OR i may add another song if i write another good original. The songs are short, simple, and to the point, with random titles. I'm debating on what to call the EP, whether it be self titled or stick with the theme of randomness, but i'm not sure yet. Well, here's the track listing:

1. Intro
2. Bryan Danielson Is A Vegan
3. Smoker
4. Halloween (Misfits Cover)
5. Peanut Butter & Jelly
6. Exclusive Autopsy Video
7. There Is No Applesauce

The intro, i have pretty much decided is going to be me reading one of my short stories, over the chords from There Is No Applesauce, but played differently. It's hard for me to explain, but you'll see. Smoker is a Suburban Losers song, but we never play it live anymore. It's one that i wrote the lyrics and the riff, so i was able to take it and use it here, it can be found on the Suburban Losers EP in an electric version. As far as the pressing of the EP goes, I'm doing it DIY like i did with Suburban Losers demos and the EP, the cover art I'll figure out later. Once I obtain a mic and computer adaptor i can record these. The EP will be sold at Suburban Losers shows and What We Worked For shows when i start doing them, and as of now, the money made from them will go towards the Suburban Losers full length and anything else we need. I don't think I'm gonna make a Myspace for WWWF, i may just make a bandcamp and facebook, since Myspace is getting so hard to use now, but we'll see where it goes.

more updates soon about other stuff, but for now, I'm hungry

Stay True.

xLOSERx

The Truth.

When will you get it that this isn't just a hobby? this isn't a side thing while i tend to my real life, no, the music i write, the music i record, the music i feel, whether it be with myself or 2 other dudes, is MY FUCKING LIFE. I don't have someone to hold or hold me back, i don't have someone to say goodnight to me every night and who looks forward to talk to me again in the morning, i don't have someone to spill every last little thought of mine onto because they love me and love to hear what's in my mind. Hell, sometimes people I'm talking to forget I'm even there and i don't hear from them for weeks. Truth is, i don't NEED any of that, listen to me, and listen closely, LOVE IS DEAD TO ME. It's a fallacy, it doesn't exist, it never has and it never will. For someone to convince me different is going to prove to be a difficult task. Love has no meaning to me anymore, my inner most thoughts spill into my songs, I'm sick of confiding in someone so fucking much and having them throw me away in a week like a used tampon. I AM NOBODY'S TAMPON. For the first time in my life, i am content with being alone, i am content with having nobody to hold, content with having nobody to talk to when I'm feeling a bit crazy, content with having no comfort when something goes wrong, cause in the end, i know it's all a bunch of BULLSHIT. When I'm feeling low and i write a song, i know for damn sure that the song isn't going to leave me, the only place it's going is back through my mind over a billion times until i get it right enough to share with people. It will always stay with me though, and i won't have to pay somebody to make it legal for us to be together forever, no, FUCK THAT, me and that song WILL be together forever, because we have bonded in a beautiful experience called recording. I don't need fake love, i have real love, it's in my music, and we did not spend 3 and a half years working our asses off to get to the point we are now to let it all fall apart because we have financial issues. Fuck, we put all our time, MOST of MY money, half the band's money we got from playing our asses off at shows, our minds, our energy, all of that into our first full length record, and where is it? Sitting on a shelf, so to speak, within our computers, waiting to get mastered and released. I fucking tell you, this WILL get released by the beginning of next year, and that's a fucking promise. I'm sick of sitting around and waiting for shit to happen, i don't give a fuck if i have to do it alone, because i assure you, i am NOTHING, i am a NOBODY, i will go NOWHERE...without the music, and if you bet for ONE FUCKING MILLISECOND that if i get abandoned alone in all this that i will give up, well you better think twice before counting me out because no matter what, I'll keep going, even if it kills me, even if i wind up homeless, there is no GODDAMN way i am giving up on my dream.

bottom line is, music is my life, my life is music, and i am not saying that as someone who just listens to music 24/7 and tells people it's my life, no, i live it, i breathe it, without it, i am dead. If you don't believe a word i am saying, then you can burn.

that's some fucking truth.

Stay True.

xLOSERx

Sickly Blog

Aw man, i feel so sick today, i don't know why, but i do.

I'm planning on spending all day tomorrow working on songs for What We've Worked For. So far, i have one original song, and 2 covers. The original song is called "There Is No Applesauce" it has lyrics and music to it done. I've been practicing it for days now and i will hopefully have it down soon. One cover I'm FOR SURE doing is Halloween by The Misfits, a weird, mellow, folky version. I MIGHT do Those Anarcho Punks Are Mysterious by Against Me! but i'm not sure yet, i also might do Next To You by Matt Skiba, but that one is iffy. What i really need is original songs right now, i have enough lyrics, i just need music. I took a few lyrics that i had written meant for Suburban Losers and am using them, i also wrote a whole batch of new ones. These lyrics are different in the sense that I'm TRYING not to be as serious with them as the SL lyrics. Some of them are comical, sarcastic, and left for you to figure out what they mean yourself. Sometimes, i don't even know what they mean, I'm just putting together thoughts that are pouring out of my head, and by the end of the song, i can figure out what they mean. It's a different process than how i write for Suburban Losers in the sense that when i write for SL, i actually think about what i want the song to be about as i start writing, and i know what i'm writing about. Suburban Losers songs are usually more personal for me, these are less personal in a way, but i guess they kind of are? I don't know, all i know is, the lyrics i write for SL i INTEND to be personal, while the lyrics I'm writing for WWWF are not intended to be personal, but may come out that way. I'm still working on strumming patterns for guitar, which i figure the more songs i write the more i can get used to strumming patterns. I am definitely in no shape to play any shows or record yet, i personally think i sound terrible at the moment, but I'll get there. As expected, my best written songs will be used for Suburban Losers, so, i wouldn't expect this project to have AMAZING lyrics, but they're definitely lyrics that i really like and am proud of. Which i guess, as a songwriter, that's all that matters. A Reoccurring theme with this project is random song titles. When i finish a song, i title it the first thing that comes to my mind, or a phrase that i find funny. Either way, every title is extremely random and have nothing to do with the lyrics. Which i think is awesome.

more on this to come as it progresses.

Stay True.

xLOSERx

What We've Worked For

Good Morning everyone! or is it night? i don't know.

I think I've decided on a name for my acoustic side project. I have chosen What We've Worked For, which is taken directly from the Against Me! song "What We Worked For" only adding the 've to "We", which means "Have" so in full, What We Have Worked For, but that's ridiculous, What We've Worked For sounds better, not to mention the acronym which is WWWF, old school wrestling fans will find that humorous, i hope i don't get sued! Next step is writing songs, i have learned another song today, "Those Anarcho Punks Are Mysterious" by Against Me!, amazing song from 2 amazing records "The Acoustic EP" and "Reinventing Axl Rose" check those records out if you haven't heard em already. Again I'd like to clarify that Suburban Losers remains my first musical priority. These side projects are merely to keep me busy while at home alone. Though, that doesn't mean i won't record, play shows, tour, all the fun stuff, yanno? It's just, if Suburban Losers takes off, or we get our damn record out, I'm willing to drop the side projects for the time being until SL gets some down time.

The reason for picking the name based off of the Against Me! song is simple, the lyrics to that song have always described my journey as a "musician". For those that don't know, here are the lyrics:

I lost the confidence to write a song,
so i found three simple chords and I held them together with my weak voice on an out-of-tune guitar my father gave to me.
May Elvis turn in his grave and Les Paul curse my dirty calloused fingers. May the likes of this song never make one fucking dollar,
leave it for a demo tape to be played until it's broken
then remembered only for what it was...
that we gave 'em hell.

To my friends and enemies who could have been anything,
titans and heroes who found survival in cause and effect.
Behind counters, behind windows, striving just to be people
with bitter ideals of justice.
Do we only need to keep working because it pays rent?
Sleeping under plastic stars glued to a ceiling,
muscles burning alcohol and nicotine every morning...
but we gave them hell

There's a height beyond skyscrapers, there's a distance beyond the freeway.
More than pictures in a magazine, more than tragedy in a rock and roll song.
It's more than the actions you know it's safe to make,
It's more than money could ever buy.
Are we living to work and die in american cities,
working to live and die in american cities, and dying for what we worked.

Stay True.

xLOSERx

It's Been Nice Waking Up Next To...You?

i can't remember the last time i wrote a blog two days in a row...hmmm...well with how things are going lately, i would probably suspect more blogs out of me.

i found out some terrible news today, i will not make public what it is just yet, but, if you are a close friend of mine, you either already know, or are going to know as soon as we talk again. Point is, it's been worrying me since i found out, sleep will not come easy tonight, but does it ever?

My progression with guitar seems to be going better than expected. I learned a song today and finally figured out guitar tabs, which, next to bass tabs, look like a jumble of numbers. I learned Matt Skiba's "Next To You" from his split with Kevin Seconds, amazing record, check it out. That's one song I'll probably cover during shows or on an EP for this unnamed acoustic project. I was also debating whether i should write a whole new batch of lyrics or sift through the unused Suburban Losers lyrics i have been writing for the past couple months and separate the ones i really wanna use for Losers from the ones i wanna use for the acoustic stuff. I figure I'll worry about that when the time comes to begin writing songs. I figure that I'll be spending most of my home alone time working on this project, which is a better deal than sitting here with my mind on overdrive and remembering everything that i hate about myself and the world. Instead I'll just put it into songs, not like i haven't been doing that all along anyways.

Work has been worrying me too, they called me in twice and i feel bad because the first time i couldn't cause i had practice, and the second time it's because there was no gas to get me down there. It sucks living 30 minutes away from my job, but i love my Hot Topic job a lot, i won't be quitting. I just hope that they don't see me as unreliable now, and i also hope that my hours for Saturday have stayed intact. So i guess it's not work itself that is worrying me, it's how they see me as an employee now that has been worrying me.

I miss talking to a few people, everyone is busy these days, it sucks. Hopefully soon I'll be as busy as them, or maybe even busier than them.

i have actually grown tired, like, really tired, and there's nobody talking to me right now, so i may just lay down and hope sleep comes.

Stay True.

xLOSERx

Hot Pockets!

ah, so here we are again, blog-o-sphere, i am your host, Richard Loser, and i am more insane than I've ever been.

Things have been quite hectic lately, hours increased at work, still clawing up the wall that leads to the mastering of the first full length Suburban Losers record, all while getting no help. I'm going to have to sell some shit in order to reach $530 for the initial mastering, then who the hell knows what we're going to do for pressing, i guess we'll worry about that when the time comes. My green Dean Zone bass, which i have dubbed Zoey, is pretty much working for the time being, after cutting out for most of our set at our first Skate IT show, leaving me to use my black Ibanez Soundgear bass which i call Darth Vader (and may be sold soon) at the Hamburg Park, playing to a weak crowd of about 20 at the most, with about 6 or 7 kids keeping interest in the hour long set we were supposed to play, which only ending up being about 40 minutes, but it doesn't matter, cause it was a disaster for my left hand, which was in a constant cramp, my right hand, which kept hitting one of the 3 pickups that Vader has, and the band itself, who pissed off the old people running the show because of a few inappropriate comments made by members of said band (us, duh). The kids didn't seem to mind though, so, whatever. I am just happy to now have Zoey back in my arms, and hopefully forever this time.

So, i think i have found a cure for being lonely all the time, i have decided to fill the void of my empty heart with several musical projects. Not only do i have my main focus, Suburban Losers, but i am going to try out for my friend Bobby's 3 piece punk band he's starting called Johnny Power. I will be trying out for drums, believe it or not, I've only had a small experience with drums in the past, but i have enough confidence in myself to do a good job, here's hoping i do. Also, i have taken up guitar, for real this time, i am borrowing Jason's acoustic guitar. Hopefully, when i get good enough, i will begin an acoustic project which will remain unnamed for now. It will not be a solo project, but more so, a chance for me to be creative with music in a different way, a chance for me to really let my folk punk influences out, which is the style I'm going to be going after. Simple chords, angry vocals, songs of anger, rebellion, and overcoming heartache in the most cynical ways possible. How is this not a solo project you ask? Well, even though my ideas will be the root of the project, i have no issue in collaborating, and Jason has agreed to help on drums and bass if necessary, I'm sure Cody won't mind collaborating either, despite his own solo acoustic stuff he's working on. Offers are welcome to musicians outside of Suburban Losers to come and jam with me as well, that is, once i get this off the ground. My main focus will always be Suburban Losers, of course, but during our non writing periods, it will be nice to still express myself through writing and developing music. Hell, some of the songs i write may end up in Suburban Losers anyways, but i pretty much know the direction I'm going in with my half of the writing in SL, so we'll see what happens. Hopefully this will fill the void and make me forget about the constant rejection.

I have recently become addicted to Hot Pockets, hey, at least it's not drugs, right?

until next time.

Stay True.

xLOSERx

Public Service Announcement.

alright, so i just want to make a few things clear about myself. first off, this blog is being done simply because of the fact that at this very moment in time, i have no other anger outlet, and it needs to all come out in order for me to have a peaceful night. usually, i couldn't give a shit what stupid people think about me, but at this point in time, i have been ignored one too many times, called a "creep" one too many times, and treated like an expired milk carton one too many times. this is the end of it, read on if you'd like to stop judging me.

first thing to address here, i AM NOT ACTUALLY ATTRACTED TO GIRLS UNDER 17/18 YEARS OLD. if you take any of my jokes seriously, you are A FUCKING RETARD and need to get a sense of humor, or actually get to know me and figure out that i'm telling a joke. in my opinion, age doesn't necessarily matter in a relationship, as long as one isn't a CHILD, but i would not date someone too young for me, because i am 21 years old, and would get in trouble. not to mention, someone who is 15/16 years old, could change entirely by the time they are 18. it's just common sense people, and just because i am FRIENDS, wait, let me say that again so that you IGNORANT FUCKS can understand this, JUST BECAUSE I AM FRIENDS with a girl who is 15 or 16 years old does not mean that i am DATING OR FUCKING THEM, so the sooner you get it through your THICK skulls that ANYONE can be friends with ANYONE, the sooner we will be near a peaceful world. also, the next person that calls me a CREEP, CREEPY, CREEPER, or any other form of the word in a SERIOUS NON JOKING MANNER, i will go out of my way to find the address of the nearest sex offender, knock you out, tie you up, and drop you off at their house. so, when you wake up to some 54 year old dude shooting his seed in your eye while singing the theme song to Different Strokes, then maybe you'll reconsider your definition of CREEPY.

secondly, if you are a female and i am super nice to you out of nowhere, trying to help you out when i see you're down, even though we've never met, DO NOT take it as an evil plot to get into your pants, cause i FUCKING ASSURE YOU THAT IT IS NOT AN EVIL PLOT. the ONLY reason i am nice to ANYONE who i've never met before and try to help them is because there are TOO MANY assholes in the world who would rather see everyone suffer, so i take it upon myself to be as nice as humanly possible to random people so i can prove in some way or another that there are GOOD PEOPLE in the world and i care about everyone. i'm willing to help out whoever when they are down because i have been there before and it is not a good place to be FOR ANYONE. thankfully there are people who have noticed my kind gestures and are now friends of mine, instead of thinking i'm a secret rapist who is helping you with your issues just to get a blow job, FUCK YOU if you think that.

and finally, BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE to the fucking BITCHES that decide they're too good for me after pretending they like me for months. how many times has this happened now? oh lord, i LOST COUNT. also, to anyone that talked to me ONCE and when i say we should talk more, TURN ON THE IGNORE SWITCH AND WON'T GIVE ME A CHANCE TO EVEN BE FRIENDS. just because i say you're PRETTY doesn't mean i'm going to RAPE you, stop being so goddamn paranoid and actually GET TO KNOW ME instead of JUDGING ME. you're so AWESOME when you laugh about ignoring a boy you think is ugly right? or when he tried to talk to you and is being nice and you decide, "oh he's gross why is he talking to me?" when that boy did nothing to you that would make you hate him. FUCK YOU. go back to talking to every guy that asks you out every 10 minutes or asked to come over and fuck every day or better yet, how about the guy that used to BEAT you? yeah! he's cool right?! once again, FUCK YOU.

i am done now, and i will go back to not giving a shit about these ASSHOLES.

Stay True.

xXx.

Only In Dreams: A Short Story

The boy sat down, exhausted, he decided to rest his eyes...

He opened his eyes, to see his girl staring at him, smiling, she was amazingly beautiful, like an angel sent down from heaven JUST for him. He loved her, everything about her, the way her dark hair hung down over her right eye, the way her beautiful green eyes glowed, almost mirroring a beautiful sunset over the horizon. Her voice...it was almost like nothing he's ever heard before, much like what spring would sound like when it breaks through the cold, unforgiving trap that is called Winter. She brushes her hair to the side and looks at him, she smiles. "Sorry, didn't mean to wake you!" she says. He smiled too, as soon as he heard her beautiful voice, "it's okay, i don't mind, as long as the first thing i see when i open my eyes is you, i will never be angry when you wake me" he said. She looks at him with her soft eyes, gleaming in the sunlight, and says "you are definitely the most amazing guy in the world!" and kisses him. Her lips felt like what clouds would feel like, if they were objects. He stares into her perfect eyes as she sits next to him. She was shorter than him, body type not perfect to society, but perfect to him, he made sure to tell her that everyday. "You know, you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen." he reminds her. "oh stop! you know that's not true!" she exclaims. "No, you are, i don't care what those other guys say, or what the media says, the perfect girl is not what they show on TV, the perfect girl is not skin and bones, to me, the perfect girl is and will always be...you" he says. She begins to happily tear up, "do you really mean that?" she asked. "Of course i mean that, i mean every word that comes out of my mouth when speaking to you, never would i tell a lie to someone i care about so much" he answered. She responds "you are the perfect guy, you know that?" and once again kisses him. They both look at each other, it was easy to tell that neither of them wanted to be anywhere else at this very moment, they wanted to be here with each other, because right here, right now, in both of their eyes, is true love, true happiness, things that they both believed could never exist, but here it is, they found it. "I love you" they both say in unison, and both hold each other, and fall asleep.

The boy opens his eyes...he is alone..."what just happened?" he says, as he looks around his house, confused. "That...was that real?" The boy realized..it was all a dream. "ah..." he sighs, and goes back to sleep.

Written by: Richard Lee Finogle Jr.

Isolation.

Some days i feel like i wanna go into isolation for months and just write and write until my brain is so empty that there's nothing left to do but turn what i wrote into music and scream it out loud enough for the entire world to hear what i'm thinking. That, sadly, i just cannot do, i have things to do, money to make, continue my journey to find the right girl which i seem to keep finding but in situations where she can't be mine for legal reasoning, the fact that she is with somebody else, or distance issues (don't ask). Though, if i stop looking, she'll find me, right? That's what they keep saying anyways, oh well, why do i try? Point is, there is way too much in my brain and not enough places to dump it out, it's like i need a junk yard or a landfill just for my thoughts. I could pour them into stories? maybe. i could pour them into songs? yes, but the main focus is to make money to get our record released before we write a whole other record, which i would say, we have most of the second album done in lyrics, and the first one isn't even out yet. fuck. I will forever continue to have wonderful conversations with wonderful people, but that only releases so much of what i'm thinking. Thankfully there is Blogger...or Blogspot..what are you called? but the thing is, i hate typing mostly, and this blog is barely read, plus, when i speak to it, it doesn't speak back, it doesn't give me insight on my thoughts that makes me feel less insane, it just stares at me like i AM insane...but maybe i am? aren't most musicians insane? but wait, am i really even a musician? or just a guy that plays music? what's the difference? see what i mean? so many questions, no insight, no answers, i am told i can call any one of my friends when i need help or someone to talk to, but i feel like a total bother doing so, cause i don't think that i'm important enough to take time to talk to, though, i am thankful for the people that do think i am.

i am sleepy..kind of...but i don't want to sleep at all...my mind is in overdrive for sure..i can't stop thinking about her or the fact that tomorrow is going to be another borefest and how i wish i could just skip tomorrow into Thursday so i can work at my super awesome new Hot Topic job, and then end up on Friday where we might have band practice, and then skip to the next practice, and then to our show on August 7th, and then the 28th, and then the fall, and then WE NEED MONEY. fuck, now i'm just in ramble mode...ah fuck it, my hands hurt, i'm going to lay down.

goodnight.

Stay True.

xXx

(edit: i don't know why the fonts are different on both paragraphs...i can't fix it)

Samuel: A Short Story.

Samuel is a good person, a very good person. He's always trying to help his friends when needed, does all he can for his family, and would do anything for the girl he loves. Although Samuel has many friends and a loving family, he lacks in the girl department. In fact, Samuel lives alone, he has for many years, and at age 30, he has begun to think that he will die alone. Since his 20's he has always just wanted someone to love, who loves him back, in a way that friends and family can't, in a way that would make his heart float on into a land of happiness only provided by the woman of his dreams. Though, he does not have that, and he has tried plenty of times for this to happen, failure is all that he is used to in love, life, and the pursuit of happiness. You see, Samuel has suffered from depression since he was very young, and attempts at trying as hard as he can to give hints about his depression have always failed. Nobody pays attention to his cries for help, because with suicide and depression being a part of the mainstream these days, it's almost like a joke to everyone, and they see it merely as a cry for attention, nothing serious. So, his depression remains undiagnosed. Samuel would never take pills for his problems anyways, he feels they do nothing but make the pain worse, only numbing it, but not getting rid of it. He doesn't know why he has depression, and he may never know, but his friends and family's ignorance, mixed with his extremely bad luck with love, has only made him worse and worse. Today, Samuel will help himself. Today, Samuel will do the one thing that he knows will cure him of his horrible thoughts - Samuel is going to kill himself.

The alarm goes off, it's an annoying sound, he never liked it. Samuel opens his eyes in slow motion, only to see a blurry light from his phone screaming at him like an eagle flying over his head. "Morning already?" Samuel says to himself, "God..i was having an amazing dream..why is it time to wake already?". He sits up slowly, rubs his eyes, and waits for them to adjust to the morning light, he shuffles out of his room into the bathroom. Samuel comes across a mirror, he looks into it, sees himself staring back at him, yet, it's not who he knows as himself. Bloodshot eyes from lack of sleep haunt him, running on an hour of sleep from day to day can do damage to the human body, more than anyone knows. He looks into his own eyes, he hates them, he can't stand his eyes. To himself, Samuel is ugly, the ugliest person he's ever seen. "why was i born like this" he says to the mirror, "why must you taunt me...why?". He takes one long, hard look at himself one last time and screams out "I AM NOTHING! I AM NOTHING! I AM NOTHING!" Samuel punches the mirror, shattering broken glass all over the bathroom floor, he cries out at himself "YOU'RE SO STUPID! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!" blood ran down his fist, but it was a small cut, nothing compared to what he's really capable of doing to himself. Samuel washes his hands off, and walks into his room to get dressed. Every morning, Samuel likes to step outside for some fresh air, mainly, to find some sort of happiness in his meaningless life. The neighbor, Larry, is standing outside as well. "Hi there Sam! beautiful day isn't it?" Larry exclaims. "Not as beautiful as it could be" Samuel says under his breath to himself, and just smiles and nods at Larry. He didn't want to speak to anyone, he didn't want anyone to somehow convince him not to end his life today, he wanted to leave this world. With a quick glance to the left, Samuel sees a rabbit hopping up next to him, he looks at it, and for the first time in months, he cracked a real smile. "Hi there friend..." he says to the rabbit, "sometimes, i wish i could be you". Samuel then goes inside, where he turns on the TV to the news, "there's never any good news..." he says to the TV, and quickly falls back to sleep. Samuel wakes up to a thunderstorm, it is now dark outside, "how long did i sleep?" he says out loud to himself. He then stretches, yawns, and proceeds up the stairs, where his plan will take place, and he will finally be laid to rest.

Suddenly, Samuel is overwhelmed with anger at himself. "What is so wrong with me? why do i say stupid things? what is my purpose here?" He continues to mumble to himself while he slams and locks his door, shuts his phone off, and searches his drawer for a razor blade. "nobody will stop me...not this time...not again...this time i am gone, nobody will miss me, not even a bit" Samuel takes the razor blade, presses it onto his wrist, and begins to cut, slowly. Lighting crashes around him, it is a dark and stormy night, he ignores the flashes and loud thunder, and continues cutting. "why isn't this working" he says, "this damn blade is so dull, come on, work!" he keeps yelling at himself, telling himself to cut harder "WORK DAMMIT! WORK!" he cuts more, violently, this time moving quicker, he will not stop, he is determined to get out, escape to a better world where he won't have to live with himself. No more lonely nights, no more rejections, no more being ignored, this time, people will remember him, people will feel for him, they will see Samuel for who he is, who he was, and who he will never be. "WHY ISN'T IT CUTTING! WHY! CUT DAMMIT!" what Samuel doesn't realize, is that the blade has already reached the vain, but he keeps going, violently. "I...I guess it's not going to work" he stops, blood runs down his arm like a waterfall, it stains his white shirt. "Maybe i'm supposed to live...maybe" Samuel then retires to his bed, and clutches himself, he has nobody to hug, nobody to comfort him, he is all alone. "This isn't right...why am i doing this? i should be alive..yeah..tomorrow, i begin a new life, i will be positive, i will fight this depression on my own, i will go out, and hell, i WILL meet the girl of my dreams, we will get married together, have a family, yeah! tomorrow is a new day for me...a new day..of happiness". He begins to smile..a real, big smile, he cries tears of joy. "I am sorry..." he says to himself "god..this hurts so bad.." he says of his cut. Samuel lays there, hugging himself, bleeding, crying, smiling. He passes out, with hopes and dreams of a new day in his life.

Samuel died that night, tightly clutching his own body...

Written by: Richard Finogle Jr.

Ladies: Don't Take This The Wrong Way.

so, i was on facebook, reading "100 things guys don't notice about girls", and you know what's funny? i have tried EVERY GODDAMN ONE of these things for my past girlfriends, and you're about to see what i got in return. Girls, please don't take this as a "i hate all women and I'm a sexist" thing, it's merely showing you that if you want these things from your boy, appreciate them, or they'll later post a blog about you and how they lost faith in girls because of the denial. I'm sure every dude in my boat right now could easily contradict these with their own experiences, and if you can, please do :) also, if there is a girl that can prove my contradictions wrong and actually doesn't take their boy for granted, let me know.

well, here it goes...

1.a girl will always. always.always. find out if you lie, so don't do it. - what about your lies? oh yeah, i forgot, female lies aren't bad at all. (sarcasm)

2.we don't like talking dirty as much as you like hearing it. - what if i don't like dirty talk? what if i think dirty talk during sex just takes away how it's supposed to be an expression of love? oh, well, then you shouldn't be talking dirty to me without me asking, and after i told you i agree with the fact that it's stupid.

3.we aren't as open about what we do in private as you are so don't ask - of course not, cause in private you're on your web cam cheating on me from a distance, right? also, on the phone with other dudes at 3 AM talking about dating each other while we're dating still and I'm here alone waiting for your phone call cause i called you 6 hours ago like you asked. so yeah, i can see why i shouldn't ask.

4.don't ask a girl about her weight, she'll freak out. - if you don't want to be asked about your weight, then stop calling yourself fat when you're not. k?

5.Beware of every single male relative and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your butt if you hurt her. - or just jump at the chance to date her right away, after she's been saying how the guy is so much better than her asshole boyfriend, only to be told that they've been put in the friend zone forever.

6. Don't be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they're going out with you in the first place, it's because they like being in your arms. - oh really? because doing this got me labeled as "too clingy".

7: a girl will do almost ANYTHING to bring your name up in a conversation - yeah, when she's talking shit on you. girls can't resist a shit talk.

8. girls always talk about guys, like, ALWAYS. so don't even think about cheating, cause we will find out. - I've never cheated, what about you cheating? oh yeah, that's fine, i forgot. (sarcasm)

9.we don't like being called sexy or hot. calling us beautiful will always score you more points. - yes, it will score you more points until she meets 15 other guys that say the same thing, but will always go with the cutest one, no matter how far away he lives.

10. PMS: it really does make us feel like shit, so don't be grossed out by it because then it just makes us feel worse about ourselves. - if you don't want me to be grossed out, than don't tell me to have sex with you on your period, because that really is gross. you ever fucked some one's wound? me neither, but I'd imagine it's the same thing.

11. we want to be with you. it doesn't matter where, it doesn't matter when, we just want to be with you. - not if you get bored easily and only care about money. if I'm boring, can't drive, and have no money, I'm not good enough, right? i miss when love was about love..or was it ever?

12. if you kiss us in front of your friends, jackpot (: - friendship is important, if my friends don't want to see us make out, I'm not going to do so in front of them. a quick kiss is fine, but I'm not going to sit there and french kiss you in front of my friends. i don't want to see my friends do that, so I'm not going to do that to them. if i do try to kiss you while they're around though, as a quick kiss, which i said was fine, don't avoid it just because you're mad at me for not going into the puppy store and make me look like an ass.

13. if we slap you, you deserved it bitch. - really? because my ex slapped me a lot, just out of boredom. i never deserved any slap she gave me.

14. we don't mind paying for half of everything. but it makes you look like an asshole to everyone else. - then don't offer to pay when I'm broke and get pissed about it later because all you care about is your money.

15. a girl should always get three things from her boyfriend during the period of the relationship: a stuffed animal; a sweatshirt of his; a ring or a necklace, no matter how serious the relationship is. - stuffed animals got forgotten about, she denied my sweatshirt, and i was told never to get her flowers again, and if i did, she would throw them on the ground and destroy them.

16. if a guy is bothering us and we tell you. its not because were trying to piss you off, its because were scared and want you to protect us. - then why was i called "over jealous" for protecting you? also, if a guy is bothering you, don't flirt back, cause he'll keep doing it.

17. when shes texts you late at night, its because she cant get you out of her head. - or she wants to yell at you for spending your money.

18. we're very jealous, so if your talking to your girl friend ( friend that is a girl) , pull your actual girlfriend closer to you, to make her feel more important. - or make her feel uncomfortable cause she wants to look like she's in control of you in front of her friends. which means she'll tell you to get off.

19. when shes mad at you, kiss her. - tried that, got pushed onto the floor.

20. when shes not mad at you, kiss her. - tried that, got avoided

21. when shes upset, kiss her. ( do you see a pattern? ) - see 19. do YOU see a pattern?

22. DO NOT flirt with our friends or relatives, even jokingly. it pisses us off. - i didn't, but you liked to flirt with every guy that talked to you.

23. guys that smell good = hot. - not if the guy is ugly, apparently.

24. okay, seriously, NOT EVER GIRL IS GOING TO BE A SIZE 3 so learn to deal with that, and look for something more then a girl that can pull of a bikini, cause very few can. - THEN FOR FUCKS SAKE, STOP SAYING YOU'RE FAT WHEN YOU'RE NOT! i don't date girls based on if they can pull off a bikini, anyone who does, well, they seem to ALWAYS get the girl.

25. when shes upset and she puts her head on your shoulder, she wants you to put your arm around he rand tell her everything is gonna be okay. - or she wants to bite you, really hard, but sure, we can go with that.

26: when a girl bites her lip, she wants you to kiss her. - apparently not, cause that's not what she wanted, she wanted to hit me.

27. don't beat around the bush. if you want to know something, just ask us. if we don't tell you, then we don't want you to know. point blank. - aren't relationships about communication? if you don't want me to know something, it's either bad, or some kind of surprise. if it is a surprise, just say so, or don't bring anything up about it. you're not supposed to hide stuff that isn't meant to be some kind of awesome surprise from your significant other.

28.when she asks you what she should wear, its because she want you to think about her looking cute. - then don't pick the opposite of what i said you should wear, cause that makes me think you don't give a shit what i think. oh yeah, you don't.

29. girls like wearing sweats more then tight jeans and little tees so don't even judge a girl by what she wears to school. - then stop wearing that to school, wear what you want. the guys that will be true to you, are the ones that will notice you no matter what you're wearing. even if you're entire body is covered up by baggy sweats.

30. cute love letters, flowers in her locker, and surprise hugs will always score you major points. - or score you pieces of paper ripped on the floor, getting yelled at for how much you payed for the flowers, or a hard bite to the arm because "she can"

31. no matter how much of a bitch she may be, you HAVE to be nice to the best friend(s) because they are going to know your relationship inside and out. - then make up your fucking mind if you want to be that girl's friend or not, stop fighting every goddamn week.

32. if you introduce us to your friends and you're going out, you damn better call us your girlfriend or we will move on. - i do, but try introducing me as your boyfriend to the cute guy you're talking to. k?

33. when we complain about something hurting, we really mean touch me here. - or you scream at me for touching you there cause it hurt.

34. girls love when you play with their hair and touch their face. it most definitely will make a girl blush and smile. - or make her bite your hand, really hard, and complain that you messed up her hair.

35. its hard for us to trust people, but once we trust you. we honestly and truly trust you. - then show it, and don't be shady, or i won't trust you.

36. if you don't think the relationship is going anywhere, TELL US don't go and tell your friends and then break up with us. it will seriously scar us for the rest of our lives. - why not take your own advice here?

37. girls like being picked up and carried around, but BE CAREFUL. were fragile.(: - don't be offended if i can't lift you. you're a human being and I'm an out of shape fat guy.

38. girls love a guy that can make them laugh. - only as a good friend, though.

39. ex girlfriends piss us off. So if your not sure if your over them or not, don't even bother with us. - again, take your own advice here.

40.girls love it when guys comment on our eyes. it shows that your looking at us. not our boobs. - then why not date those guys instead of the ones that comment on your boobs? oh, cause that would only make sense (sarcasm).

41. don't tell us that you understand when you don't. - what if i really do? don't tell me i don't and then stop talking to me for a week.

42. when we're mad at you. we're freaking mad, so let us cool off before you say your sorry. - that's fine, but don't wait 2 fucking weeks to let me say sorry.

43. we always dream about being kissed in the rain - then let me.

44. once you tell a girl that you can play the guitar or you can sing, she will wait for the day when you preform for her and she will fall for you (: - i play the bass and i can scream, but i have written songs for girls. where have they gotten me? well let's see, I'm still single...

45. sensitivity is a good thing, but don't make us be the man in the relationship. we want someone that's gonna protect us. not someone that we're gonna have to comfort every night, we have enough insecurities of our own. - well, when i actually do have a problem, don't go all bitch mode on me for no reason and try to tell me to do this and that to fix it, when all i want is for you to listen and comfort me, chances are, i know how to fix it, i just want someone to hear me.

46. girls like guys that are spontaneous. like, if you like a girl, walk up to her and be like wow your gorgeous can i have your number, seriously it makes our day (: - or gets you a very prominent "EWWW!" followed by laughter with her friends.

47. if a girl really trusts you, she will tell you everything that's bothering her, so listen don't just tune out and ignore us, its a major thing if we tell you that stuff. - i do listen, but don't get pissed if i don't know how to help if you just want me to listen.

48. seriously, we hate when you play your xbox more then you talk to us. if you love that thing so much, date it not me. - i barely play video games, yet, the guys that ignore their girls for xbox or computer games, can keep them somehow. so, maybe you do love when they play the xbox? cause if not, you don't make any sense.

49. when a girl asks you to call her, its because she wants to fall asleep to your voice - not always.

50.if we're dating, there always has to be tension. sometime we're just gonna pick a fight with you because everything cant always be perfect, so don't take it to heart. - i am going to take it to heart, cause of there's no reason to pick a fight, then why do it? it will only start on a dark road to the relationship ending, from either me getting tired of it, or you picking so many fights, that you notice every flaw i have, every day.

51.guys, we know your competitive, but let us win every once in a while, otherwise we're gonna think your cocky and that right there is a major turn off. - actually, I'm not very competitive, but thanks.

52. girls like playing little cute games like 20 questions or what if - not if they're easily bored.

53.we really don't care as much about what a guy looks like as much as yo guys care about how a girl looks. personality is number 1. - THAT IS A FUCKING LIE AND YOU KNOW IT! I've met more girls that care about the way guys look than guys that care about a girls looks when it comes to dating. fuck you.

54. all a girl usually looks for in a guy ( physically) is a nice smile and honest eyes. - don't forget 6-pack abs, giant penis, toned body, and beautiful face.

55. girls like video games too, so don't always assume were cute little mall girls - yeah i know, sometimes so much that they end up leaving their boyfriends for guys they meet on the online play feature of said games.

56. some girls like sports too, and if you me (GIANTS FAN) and you watch a football game, shes gonna root for her team, sorry baby. - that's fine, but don't turn it into an argument just cause not everything "has to be perfect".

57. we Love being told that you were thinking about us all day - or you find it creepy and stop talking to me.

58. if a girl constantly runs her fingers through her hair, shes doing it to get your attention, some kind of sexual hint that she likes you (: - that is, if she doesn't think I'm too gross to even go near.

59. we don't like when your texting when you're with us, unless you're texting the guy next to you asking for tips, cause we do the same thing (: - then why is it okay for you to do it?

60. being nice and cute will always make a girl talk about you. always. - but will never make her date you. never.

61.don't ever lie to us and then say oh it was a test. no, that was the end of our relationship. - here's another that you need to take your own advice on.

62. don't EVER text us saying hey baby whats up? and then saying oh sorry wrong text. believe me, it has happened. - never have.

63. a girl will spend hours on her appearance, so always compliment her on it. - well then don't think I'm a creep for doing so.

64. a girl really only wants to make you happy. - or play games with your heart.

65. when a girl says, should i dye my hair or should i change my _ insert body part here_ the answer is ALWAYS " baby, your perfect the way you are" - then the response is always "nooo i'm gonna do it"

66. in my opinion, girl will only ask a guys advice if she really trusts him. - in my opinion, if that happens, you're in the friend zone.

67. There is no such thing as a shy girl after the age of 16. After that, all girls are acting. - wow, so like, stop living your life as a lie then?

68.the minute a girl decides to be with you, she's already decided that anytime you need it, she'll sacrifice anything necessary to get it to you.
Anything, anytime, anywhere. - that's a lie, and you know it.

69.always call her when you say you will, it may not seem like it, but it does hurt her and makes her think you don’t care so call even if you can only talk for a minute. Girls don’t necessarily have to have hour long conversations every night but its nice for us to hear your voice even for a quick hello. - i always do, but it's kind of pointless when they hit the ignore button, or just let it go to voice mail. even after i call back later.

70.If your listening to music, let her listen too. - surely, but ask me before you change the band or song, cause, it is my computer and i was listening to that, if you ask, i will because you're awesome.

71.if you DONT sleep with us, DONT tell your friends you did - i don't, but guys that do, keep you? again, tell me how this makes sense?

72. if you DID sleep with us, DONT tell your friends you did. - see 71.

73. she loves when you play with her hands - no she doesn't.

74. kissing her on the stomach will always make her smile - or hit you.

75. whisper "iloveyou" in her ear and she will be turned on. BUT DONT SAY IT UNLESS YOU MEAN IT!!! - i never say it unless i mean it.

76. when we come home from a date with you, its alwayss adorible when you text us three seconds after we get home saying " i miss you" - really? cause i was known as creepy for that.

77. okay, you knew it was coming. memorize our birthdays and call us at 12:00 . it makes a world of difference. - surely, but in return, don't tell us you want nothing for your birthday and then be pissed when you get nothing.

78. DONT EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER HIT, PUSH, SHOVE,SLAPP, OR HURT A GIRL IN ANY WAY. - yeah i never did, even though she HIT, PUSHED, SHOVED,SLAPPED, AND HURT me all the time.

79. dont be late, it hurts us alot. - same to you.

80. when you say your gonna do something, do it damnitt. - again, same to you.

81. we think about you all the time. - and 15 other guys.

82. if your sitting next to us in class and we're working on sometihing, its cute to get a note saying " hi baby (:" and it will make us smile. - and make you get in trouble.

83. girls don't always want to hang out with girls. Just because we have guy friends does not mean that we want to be with them. We probably already had the chance and didn't take it - well then don't flirt with them like you always do and lead them on. maybe then, we won't suspect anything. if they try to be with you and won't stop, cut off the ties.

84.don't expect us to make the same mistakes your ex did. if we do, it is not because there is some huge conspiracy against you. maybe youre making a mistake, not us. don't compare our mistakes to hers - i approach every relationship as something different, and it always is, always different problems. though i have met many many girls that like to lead me on. so, don't even say that's my fault.

85.we know you don't care about what happened in our day, but listen. it hurts us a lot when you don't pay attention. - actually, i do care, so, try telling me about it once.

86.We don't like to be nagged about where we are going or what we are doing either, but we usually hear you out. - we don't either, you're usually the ones nagging us.

87. we're emotional and act in mysterious ways, but you are pushing a huge button when you call us crazy. - the day your ex says "you know, i was thinking about smashing your computer monitor over your head while you were sleeping" in a serious matter, is the day when you realize that CRAZY is the perfect term for your ex.

88.girls will stare at their phone untill we get a call or text from you. - then they'll hit ignore or won't text back.

89. when we're with you, we will always try to sit/ stand next to you, just hoping for the chance to touch you in even the smallest possible way. - really? cause whenever i'm with females they usually try to be as far from me as possible, and if i go near them, it's creepy.

90. not all girls that are dancers/cheerleaders are whores, so dont assume just cuz thats our sport that we're goign to live up to the sterotype. that goes for any co corricular activity. - don't assume i'm retarded then just cause i dropped out of school and play in a band.

91. girls are suckers for little animalss, so if you have a dog, she will most likely go (: awwww. cuz it proves to us you actually have a sensitive side. dont ask me how, it just does. - what if i don't have any animals but used to and want another one?

92. we're not trying to betray you when we ask your guy friends advice on our relationship with you. they know you best, and we're probably only saying good things about you anyway - then don't get pissed at me when i do the same thing with your female friends.

93.when we go out, we dont always want to go see a movie. change it upp lets do something exciting (: - what happened to "we want to be with you no matter where it is"? yeah.

94. poetry is always a plusss(: - but gets you no where.

95. girls always jump to concluisions, so dont act innocent unless you really are.and if your not you better have a good conclusion or were gonna assume the worst - same goes for you.

96. don't make bets about us; we always find out. - who makes bets anymore about girls? oh yeah, douche bags, who are you dating? the guy that bet on you? yeah.

97. most girls are tickelish its cute when guys tickel us - or it gets you smacked.

98. no girl just wants to be your "friend with benefits". - neither do i. but you seem to be having fun with your "we're not going out but kind of are, but i can fuck other guys" guy friend, what is that? oh yeah, a friend with benefits. stop masking it.

99. its sexy when you grab our butts when you make out with us (: - not all girls think so.

100. if you wre thinking about someone while reading this, go tell them. noww stupid ! (: - i was thinking of all my past girlfriends and girls that have claimed they liked me. i'm sure some of them will see this anyways.