Serious Thoughts.

I won't mentioned what happened, cause i don't know who reads this exactly or who's GOING to read this, but if anyone who experienced what happened last Saturday with me, you know what I'm talking about. Point here is, i honestly don't see it as a huge deal, everyone involved is okay, alive, and moving on. Come to think of it, it wasn't really traumatic at all, just fucking scary. It did however, get me to thinking, what if i had died? Like, i think, what if THEY had died too, that would be just as bad..but on a personal level, what if my life ended last week and i wasn't here typing this? Would i have been happy with my life? Would i have done everything that i wanted to do? The answer is simply, no. I have not completed everything that i wanted to do in my life yet, so this just gets me thinking about how fucking quickly everything can end, in an instant. The human body is complicated, growing up is complicated, hell, LIVING is sometimes complicated, but how to end everything, it's not complicated at all. It's simple, one time deal, think of it this way, okay, i am NOT suicidal right now, despite my past encounters with suicide, right now, i am probably the least suicidal than I've ever been. Just think though, how easy it is for it to all end, i could easily go buy a gun, hold it to the back of my skull, right behind my ear, pull the trigger and BOOM, I'm done, no more Rich. Or, just out of nowhere, i have an aneurysm, why? i don't fucking know, but it happens, my brain pops and I'm done. People wonder why I'm rarely serious, people wonder why i make jokes out of almost ANYTHING, even if I'm feeling real sympathy towards it or if I'm upset about it. Simply because, life is too damn short, too damn fragile, and too damn scary to be upset all the time. To me, life is a joke, i mean come on, it comes at you with this huge fucking attitude and acts like a tough guy, and you can so easily kick it in the balls and you win. It comes back though, and tears you down, over and over again, but you just have to keep up with it, crack some jokes, laugh at nothing, you know? You could be dead tomorrow, why not have fun today? I have more goals for my 20's than I've ever had before, and i plan to achieve them, if i can't, escaping is easy, but before i resort to that for a final time, i will brave life with all I've got, punch it in the throat, and try as hard as i fucking can to do EVERYTHING that i want to do in my life. Near death experiences always get you thinking, hell, i have a goal to be skinny by the time I'm 23, or at least fit. I have a goal to be semi successful in music by my mid 20's. I have a goal to find a girl that i want to be with for the rest of my life, who treats me right, doesn't care about my social status or schooling, respects my goals, and stay with her. My goals, collectively, are to reach where i want to be in life by the time I'm 25, and i WILL do it, and i WILL have fun as much as i possibly can on my journey towards true happiness. I suggest that whoever does read this, follow my advice, ignore the little things that upset you and just LIVE, i mean, there will be big obstacles to get through, for sure, big UPSETTING obstacles, but you have to believe in yourself and pull through them, cause in the end, the only person that can make you truly happy, is yourself.

Stay True.

xLOSERx