Is Anyone Reading This?

I wish I had the time, well, i do have the time, but i wish i wasn't so lazy, because I'd love to write in this at least everyday for you all to get an in depth analysis of what i think about daily. I guess I'd just much rather connect with a person than a dead world of cyberspace called the Internet. I don't know, i guess today i feel like boring you all, or whoever does/doesn't take the time to read this. Today sucks, it's so boring and rainy, i spent the majority of the day cleaning my room, although, i wanted to spend the majority of the day sleeping, but that doesn't happen anymore. My "inner clock" wants me to wake up at 10 all the time, and it pisses me off, cause even if i fall asleep at 4 or 5 AM, the inner clock is like "AW HELL NO, YOU WAKE UP NOW!" when I'm like "but i wanna sleeeeeeeeeeeep" and then we argue all morning until finally it makes me have to pee really fucking bad and have a weird coughing spell, and then I'm up. Whoop. Fuck, i just want this day to be over so next week can begin, hell, i want this month to be over, i hate Christmas, i hate this time of year, it's cold, it's depressing, and everything about it, the smells in the air, the coldness, and just the overall feeling of it brings back bad memories/thoughts that are usually stuffed in the back of my mind. Not that they effect mine or anyone else's well being, or the way i live, they just like to keep me up at night and make my time spent alone less enjoyable. Aw who am i kidding, anytime i spend alone is a nightmare. Pft. That's what music is for, to make it easy.

In other non whiny news, the weight loss is going well. I'm at 280 pounds, which is a big step considering 2 months ago i weighed 297 pounds. It sucks that it's not showing yet, nor do i feel any better physically yet, but emotionally, i definitely feel better about myself that it's working, i just have to keep going, i guess, and not let any possible rejections/depressing news that may come my way stop me from achieving this goal. Speaking of goals, record progress is going well, also. We have hit the $200(something) mark in our band fund, and I've been saving up change. Plus an hour increase at work has helped much in the progress. Once we get it mastered, then it's time to talk about pressing and label signage. Then my life will rule much more than it already does. *victorious stance*.

For now i bid you farewell, for i am going to go continue being bored and trying to settle my thoughts. *bow*

Stay True.

xLOSERx