Isolation.

Some days i feel like i wanna go into isolation for months and just write and write until my brain is so empty that there's nothing left to do but turn what i wrote into music and scream it out loud enough for the entire world to hear what i'm thinking. That, sadly, i just cannot do, i have things to do, money to make, continue my journey to find the right girl which i seem to keep finding but in situations where she can't be mine for legal reasoning, the fact that she is with somebody else, or distance issues (don't ask). Though, if i stop looking, she'll find me, right? That's what they keep saying anyways, oh well, why do i try? Point is, there is way too much in my brain and not enough places to dump it out, it's like i need a junk yard or a landfill just for my thoughts. I could pour them into stories? maybe. i could pour them into songs? yes, but the main focus is to make money to get our record released before we write a whole other record, which i would say, we have most of the second album done in lyrics, and the first one isn't even out yet. fuck. I will forever continue to have wonderful conversations with wonderful people, but that only releases so much of what i'm thinking. Thankfully there is Blogger...or Blogspot..what are you called? but the thing is, i hate typing mostly, and this blog is barely read, plus, when i speak to it, it doesn't speak back, it doesn't give me insight on my thoughts that makes me feel less insane, it just stares at me like i AM insane...but maybe i am? aren't most musicians insane? but wait, am i really even a musician? or just a guy that plays music? what's the difference? see what i mean? so many questions, no insight, no answers, i am told i can call any one of my friends when i need help or someone to talk to, but i feel like a total bother doing so, cause i don't think that i'm important enough to take time to talk to, though, i am thankful for the people that do think i am.

i am sleepy..kind of...but i don't want to sleep at all...my mind is in overdrive for sure..i can't stop thinking about her or the fact that tomorrow is going to be another borefest and how i wish i could just skip tomorrow into Thursday so i can work at my super awesome new Hot Topic job, and then end up on Friday where we might have band practice, and then skip to the next practice, and then to our show on August 7th, and then the 28th, and then the fall, and then WE NEED MONEY. fuck, now i'm just in ramble mode...ah fuck it, my hands hurt, i'm going to lay down.

goodnight.

Stay True.

xXx

(edit: i don't know why the fonts are different on both paragraphs...i can't fix it)