2010: Where Have You Gone?

Wow, it's hard to believe that 2010 is over. It feels like just yesterday that i had such high hopes for 2010, more notably, the summer of 2010, which has since passed on. Surely has been a roller coaster of a year and continues to be even with one day left, i don't even know how to put into words what this year consisted of, i can just mention a few notable things: got out of a miserable relationship, recorded the first Suburban Losers full length record at the awesome Akdar Studios, met a SHIT LOAD of awesome people, and became really close with a few of them (you know who you are), got back together with some old friends to which we became an unbeatable 5 person Nexus, followed by some awesome times and new memories to look back on in addition to the billions of memories we already had, found a whole new person in myself after the breakup, and finally gained some self confidence, band activity increasing and getting better as a band overall. As well as many many other crazy adventures, i am not mentioning the notable bad things because well, honestly there was more bad than good this year, considering the high expectations we all had for it, "Year of The Loser" is what we called it hahaha, and it was, sort of, i guess. I don't want to go into 2011 with too much high hopes, in case they also get destroyed, i am going into 2011 with a positive attitude though, and hoping to accomplish my resolutions for this year, which are as follows: release Suburban Losers - Never Going Home, get skinny, tell the girl i REALLY like how i feel (maybe, depending on the situation), get over my fear of driving, get my license, and finally go on tour. If i can end 2011 with those things accomplished, i will feel like a JEDI MASTER. So, yeah, as we all say goodbye to a year filled with happiness, sadness, fun times, bad times, and a whole lot of learning, we say hello to a new year with new possibilities headed our way. Let's hope it's a good one.

Goodbye 2010, Hello 2011.

I leave you, as a New Year's tradtion for me, with this song:



This time, it's the Sundowner version instead of The Lawrence Arms version, considering Chris (from TLA), released this in 2010 under his side project, Sundowner :)

as always, Stay True.

xLOSERx

10 Steps For Failure.

I am going to present to you, 10 helpful steps in preparing yourself to do something that you know you're going to fail at, but still know it has to be done in order for life to move on, and in the end, still come out on top, even though you failed. AWWWWWW HERE IT GOES:

1. listen to your own band, if you have one, in order to remind yourself that after you fail, you still have talent.

2. be sure to consult every single one of your initial group of friends before failing, so they can help you make jokes about how funny it's going to be when you once again fail miserably, because everyone expected it.

3. eat, a lot.

4. watch the video for Marky Mark's "Good Vibrations" to remind yourself that no matter how hard you try, you'll never be as cool as Marky Mark, in order to further prevent yourself from gaining confidence to do something that you'll know you're gonna fail at.

5. if you play an instrument, play it, to remind yourself that you have talent (see number 1)

6. go forth with the thing you're going to fail at, only to fail, because it was bound to happen.

7. sulk for a bit, tell yourself never to try again, even though you know you will.

8. hang out with your best friends, joke about how much you failed, and then make fun of people to make yourself feel better.

9. sleep it off, if you can.

10. wake up, ready to start again, and for the hell of it, watch "Good Vibrations" again, cause, well, FUCKING LOOK AT IT:

Songwriting, Brendan Kelly, and an Awesome Girl.

I am pleased to have read that the way i write my song lyrics is almost identical to the way Brendan Kelly of The Lawrence Arms/Falcon/Slapstick writes his. See http://badsandwichchronicles.blogspot.com/2010/12/more-self-important-bullshit.html This is pretty awesome for me, because Brendan Kelly is one of my musical idols. Probably the only one out of all of my musical idols that I want to write and play just like, or at least mimic in my writing to the point of writing as awesome as he does, incorporating metaphors and smart ass remarks in my songs, while still sounding sincere. The only thing that's not the same is the 4 track recording device, i wish i had one, so i could remember my songs better. If you've never heard The Lawrence Arms, fucking look them up, NOW. That band includes two of my musical idols.

Anywho. I would like to know why it's so freezing today, I would also like to know why, no matter how hard I try, I can't stop thinking about a certain girl. I guess it's because she's not evil, like most girls. This one is different.

Stay True.

xLOSERx

Is Anyone Reading This?

I wish I had the time, well, i do have the time, but i wish i wasn't so lazy, because I'd love to write in this at least everyday for you all to get an in depth analysis of what i think about daily. I guess I'd just much rather connect with a person than a dead world of cyberspace called the Internet. I don't know, i guess today i feel like boring you all, or whoever does/doesn't take the time to read this. Today sucks, it's so boring and rainy, i spent the majority of the day cleaning my room, although, i wanted to spend the majority of the day sleeping, but that doesn't happen anymore. My "inner clock" wants me to wake up at 10 all the time, and it pisses me off, cause even if i fall asleep at 4 or 5 AM, the inner clock is like "AW HELL NO, YOU WAKE UP NOW!" when I'm like "but i wanna sleeeeeeeeeeeep" and then we argue all morning until finally it makes me have to pee really fucking bad and have a weird coughing spell, and then I'm up. Whoop. Fuck, i just want this day to be over so next week can begin, hell, i want this month to be over, i hate Christmas, i hate this time of year, it's cold, it's depressing, and everything about it, the smells in the air, the coldness, and just the overall feeling of it brings back bad memories/thoughts that are usually stuffed in the back of my mind. Not that they effect mine or anyone else's well being, or the way i live, they just like to keep me up at night and make my time spent alone less enjoyable. Aw who am i kidding, anytime i spend alone is a nightmare. Pft. That's what music is for, to make it easy.

In other non whiny news, the weight loss is going well. I'm at 280 pounds, which is a big step considering 2 months ago i weighed 297 pounds. It sucks that it's not showing yet, nor do i feel any better physically yet, but emotionally, i definitely feel better about myself that it's working, i just have to keep going, i guess, and not let any possible rejections/depressing news that may come my way stop me from achieving this goal. Speaking of goals, record progress is going well, also. We have hit the $200(something) mark in our band fund, and I've been saving up change. Plus an hour increase at work has helped much in the progress. Once we get it mastered, then it's time to talk about pressing and label signage. Then my life will rule much more than it already does. *victorious stance*.

For now i bid you farewell, for i am going to go continue being bored and trying to settle my thoughts. *bow*

Stay True.

xLOSERx